Famous Faces, Famous Places and Famous Foods
Making a Big Splash on the High Seas
Ever notice how cruise brochures invariably show scenes of handsome couples playing kissey-face, Mickey Mouse hugging precocious, photogenic kids, and convention groups heartily applauding the ship’s chef?
Then there’s the inevitable shot of the captain, decked out in his crispest evening whites, surrounded by beaming "yuppies," a predictable "Pepsodent" smile plastered across his perfectly sculpted face.
Or, how about the scantily clad, "pretty young thing" bursting out of a fluorescent bikini, draped provocatively across a radiant first mate.
The colorful advertising never features a
female passenger sitting alone like an overripe wallflower at the Captain’s Welcome
Party, while everyone else, aglow with anticipation, dances sensuously to romantic music.
Whether the woman is young and pretty or - to coin a 90s phrase - "mature," and not necessarily blessed with picture-perfect good looks - or shape - she undoubtedly has spent a lot of money on a cruise wardrobe, especially for the two glittery galas highlighted on just about every ship. She is determined to have a good time.
She might be postponing taking a cruise until that "perfect someone" comes along to sail into the sunset with her. Recent surveys show that 25 percent of today’s cruise passengers are single and in this liberated age, there is no need to sit around waiting for your ship to come in, so to speak. Women can go it alone on the high seas.
True, a cruise vacation is relaxing and some ports of call are fascinating. But breathes there a soul so dead that she has not whimpered to herself, "How I wish that someone would ask me to dance" - especially when the orchestra is playing a rhythmic "Macarena" which she does so well, or a provocative Lambada, which she shimmers to so smoothly - and which would show off that expensive sequined mini-dress to perfection.
Any female over the age of 10 remembers the TV series, "The Love Boat," where the woman cruising alone encountered friendship, romance, or at the very least, heavy breathing, soon after setting foot on board the floating pleasure palace. While the series did wonders to boost the cruise business, the scenario tended to cause too much anticipation for the solo cruising ladies.
In reality, there is no
captain cum pearly white teeth welcoming embarking passengers; he is much too busy on the
bridge, and chances are slim that you will even meet him, let alone experience that
encounter of a close kind which sends your heart into a fluttering dither.
However, "The Love Boat" was correct in depicting how interested ship’s officers are in the "lone cruiser." Here’s the scoop from the poop deck for the woman who would like male companionship aboard ship - not that you’re looking for a passionate shipboard romance (okay, maybe you are)- just somebody nice to dance with and have some fun.
On the first night that you sail out of port, make sure that you are at the late night bar or in the disco till the wee hours. After the witching hour, ships’ officers are scouting the decks for fun-seeking females. Such a woman is not going to waste precious time that first night (especially on a short cruise) ensconced in her cabin, unpacking, or trying to get a good night’s sleep. If she’s smart, she’s going to look bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for a possible late-night rendezvous.
The first night maneuver works and is the best way to get your dance card filled. Also, lone male passengers will be in the late-night spots in search of company - especially if they didn’t feel comfortable attending the singles "ice-breaker" parties customarily held soon after the ship sets sail.If you think that the Singles Get Together might be interesting, most of the time it is not. If you’re a sophisticated woman, you won’t be amused by playing "pass the orange" with a dancing partner who is two heads shorter than you and reaches you at an alarmingly intimate level.
So, forget the Singles Get Together aboard a ship that caters to families with kids. The attendance at this particular party is mainly Mom, Dad, and offspring, all of them curious about how the other half lives, or trying to remember the way it was. But don’t let me discourage you. Who knows, Dad might just be divorced and traveling with the kids or you might run into Granddad living it up with his grandchildren at sea.
The single female’s best opportunity is a ship that offers a Gentleman Host program, providing male hosts who serve as dance and social partners for ladies traveling alone.
On cruise ships featuring this program, the Singles Get Together is always more pleasant; at least you get to bogey with an attractive man who must have graduated summa cum laude from Arthur Murray’s Dance Studio.
Should your thoughts drift to pondering the possibility of what could follow a tantalizing Tango with your host, forget it. He has taken a blood oath not to become involved with any one female passenger. His assignment, should he decide to accept it, is to dance with every lone woman passenger and come back for seconds only if everybody has had a whirl around the dance floor. So, if you’re smitten with his Samba, chill out.
While Princess Cruises (aka the Love Boat) does not have a Gentleman Host program, it does afford plenty of opportunities for meeting single people – male and female. On a recent Mediterranean Cruise on board their Grand Princess, I found plenty of companionship – much of it at their state-of-the-art gym and as a participant in their "cruisercise" fitness program which offers varying activities throughout the day.
Another suggestion for the
lone woman on a cruise is to request a table for eight at the second seating. The largest
tables present a better opportunity for meeting more passengers. And you can sleep later
in the morning than for that too-early breakfast seating. On the Grand Princess, the
Painted Desert restaurant dishes up Tex/Mex cuisine, casual dining and live music,
affording yet another great avenue for the singles scene.
While aboard any ship, participate in as many seminars and lessons as possible to meet a variety of passengers. In the ship’s library, you may meet an intellectual type; a visit to the fitness center might uncover a jock; a trip to the casino will expose you to games of chance of many variations. Shore excursions abound with other possibilities.
One thing to remember: There is no reason to hibernate in your cabin when cruising the high seas. You should also keep in mind that picking the right cruise is much like picking the right man. There are many to choose from and if you don’t make the right choice the first time, there are more on the horizon, so don’t give up the ship.
For reservations and more information on Princess Cruises call (800) 456-7245 or visit their website at: http://www.awcv.com/princess.html.